pop the champagne!  a celebration of sorts!  a meditation of the river's current!

it is only a paper moon
sailing over a cardboard sea
but it wouldn't be make believe
if you believed in me

this is the last image of my life.  in my mind, i will always look like this.

may i ask you one question?

tell the doctor there will be no transference of thoughts. she wouldn't like what she would receive. 

and she will first have to see my desires 
and hear the incessant prayers that i place
in my mind.

and then she has to see me naked again, longing for just another lover to enter the room.

first the good doctor has to see me naked, spitting fire out of my mouth,
baby doll lounge, white street, n.y.c. 1980.  snowing.  i travelled there.
it was my decision.  quite far ahead for me generally.  i was given
a bad lead.

maybe the doctor can bring along a certified crack-pot hypnotist too.  so barnum & bailey. 

tell her i'm not interested in talking to her body.  tell her i'll like to try transferring thoughts with her.

if my faces confuse her, tell her to talk to my body.

she says that she doesn't know which one to talk to.

it is really very flattering for her to say that.  most people really never notice.

doctor olsen says that she sees you
with many different faces.

everyone sees different things.  however, doctor olsen may be more cunning than we thought.

arthur, doctor olsen doesn't seem to see me.  she sees someone.  maybe you.

if robert is living, he does not live as we live.  i will say that he was a good painter if he's dead.

we are not hideous painters.  robert is not one of us.  charming fellow.  not one of us.

robert said good-bye in english.  arthur, we will have to look him up.  he could be one of us.

i got dressed and i was gone.  everything was amiss, out of place.

i left for greifswald.  i never saw robert again.  

i was in that studio a few days before.  

 it should have been my last time.  i think what happened to me was a lucky stroke now. 

 there was always something phony about this image.  there were 50,000 legs.  this one looks at you.

                                                      

doctor olsen thinks that may have been your last time.
                                                    
                                                       

the painting of you is on the easel.  the artificial light of explosions.  this was the very start.

she is looking at robert's studio when
he painted you, february, dresden, 1945.

the eye on doctor olsen's door tells me that she awake.

stevens knew that the houses are haunted by white-gowns.

yes.  stevens has vanished.  the man with the blue guitar.  insurance executive.

i think that i would like to be on  your ship with the poets.  who's left?  williams and arp?  i could use some of their simplicity.

listen.  I got three expressions:  looking left, looking right and looking straight ahead.

i am on the beach in mexico.  

you are on the ship with the poets.

i want to make love to you in this room.  in front of doctor olsen.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.  a vague year.    

i think i can understand what she is doing.  i feel extraordinarily calm.  i see some numbers.

are you pleased with yourself now?  do you like my stolen shrink now that you have her?

she looks like a junkie. or the undead.
she is impenetrable.  i am locked in doctor
olsen's office.  she uses unusual tactics.